Bad Movie Review - Cool as Ice

Rabu, 01 Juni 2011

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On the way to their next gig, or wherever they actually go, riding gang encounters a heart of stone to melt Vanilla wants with his, um, ice. Of course it belongs to the uptight overachiever named Kathy, who apparently needs a bit of vanilla in my life to spice things up. (I made that one up yourself). Skiing begins almost kills her with her horse, which is about the most extreme pickup techniques I have ever seen, and surprisingly, seem to work. Sure, she acts all annoyed and storms off, but as Vanilla notes: "Yup yup she loves me ..". This is probably because it is sick of his possessive, walking cliché boyfriend Rick.

One of the gang has some mechanical failure on the way into town, so chase ends with stuck in the hippy-trippy bike repair shop, run by some crazy old couple. Luckily, they run a store from their house, which is oh so conveniently down the street from the residence of Kathy constantly smokes and her parents.

Oh, and did I mention that her parents are in the witness protection program, and the running of two thieves who apparently have better things to do than sit and wait for Kathy's dad to appear on TV so they can not locate and extort money from him? It seems Kathy Pope - Michael Gross played in what was arguably the pinnacle of his career - he was a cop who has seen too much and ratted some of his colleagues, who vowed revenge. It's really no surprise this guy left power, he is without doubt the worst cop in the history of law enforcement. Each of his instincts is totally wrong. He would not have anything right, or figure it all out through the whole movie. I think that's what he gets for trying to suppress his daughters wish to Iceify her heart of stone.

But at least Vanilla is cool is not it? His closet is the only truly something behold, (I wonder where he keeps all those clothes on his bike?), together with their unusually upright hair, and I think any movie that involves a dead-serious Vanilla Ice injection lines such as "Yo Cat. Some words of wisdom: drop that zero and get with the hero "at least deserves a look. And I did not even mention the scene where Vanilla handedly kicks the crap out of not less than five armed jocks who make foolish mistake of messing with his homeboy's bike. He is equally delicate in its melting Kathy's heart, which basically consists of walking around without a shirt on him, talking about how "If you live your life for someone else, not living, " and generally acting creepy and / or criminal. This is really just the tip of the iceberg. There are so many more priceless moments of joy to discover unintentional.

So why this film is the culmination of a bad movie night movie? This is because it is so clear that Vanilla and those involved in creating this film, it's very, very seriously. This only further emphasizes the funny dialogue, ridiculous plot and clichéd characters. Somehow I thought that someone really thinks that this mold was going to be good it seems all the more unintentionally funny.

To find this movie on VHS on eBay is about the only way you'll be able to buy it, although you can often still available for rent at your local independent video store. Watch it with a group of friends, while consuming alcoholic drinks your choice.

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